He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
we have pet lesbian snakes
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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