yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
