We're facebook friends in real life
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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