just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
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what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
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Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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