I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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