Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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