I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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