I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
