I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
