i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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