mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
