I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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