I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You took a bar mat shot.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
