Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
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All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
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I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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