I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
