Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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