he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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