Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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