Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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