it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Life without a bra equals bliss.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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