I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You can't just leave with hair like that
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
