are you still at the devil's house?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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