just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
