Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
