Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
