I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
