It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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