Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he was CRYING into my vagina
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
