Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
