it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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