1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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