You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
