you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
