I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
