I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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