Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
