i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
