So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
