i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
