You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
