Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
