:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
