OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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