i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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