You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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