Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
