I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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