I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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