therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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