I just saw a hot homeless man
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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