I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
ok first of all what the fuck
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
