I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
