Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
