I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
