am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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