Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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