he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
nutella sex= disaster
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
