I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
