wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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