Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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