I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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