So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
