Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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