I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
