Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize